All the events leading up to Jesus crucifixion and burial was one of denial, betrayal, torture, shame… Jesus died for the sins of those who laughed at him, taunted him and rejected him.
Man, I do not know him… Prophesy! Who hit you?… He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God… If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself…

Even in the midst of the worst taunting, the pouring of God’s wrath on the sins of the world… All to redeem God’s people to himself. Jesus took the punishment, took the shame, took the infinite wrath of a HOLY GOD to make us right with the Father.

Thank you Jesus for this great sacrifice, for this great rescue. Thank you our true Elder brother. Thank you… lover of my soul.

We love you.

Are you the older brother or the younger brother? We yearn for a true elder brother… to welcome us home.

Luke 15

It has been a very, VERY encouraging start to our thursday bible study. God is amazing and has met me especially during this step of faith. My wife and I thought about doing one for a while. Maybe it was fear, maybe it felt like no one wanted to be part of one, maybe because everyone left, or maybe because I felt inadequate, whatever the reason, we pushed it off and pushed it off.

But the first night of our gathering there was confirmation, even people admitting that they’ve been praying about having a bible study for a while as well. As we have entered our fifth week, I can only sense that there is so much potential, not only for the group, but also in my heart to have faith and believe God in all areas.

What I mean is this… I’ve always thought that I needed to provide material, needed to provide songs, support, encouragement, etc. Times I felt like I needed to be the one in charge because I was leading, but I’m slowly realizing that God is in charge. Though we provide a lesson, a message, a time, a place, it is God that works in people’s hearts. It isn’t going to be good food that changes people, it will be an act of the Holy Spirit. He will change us, he will guide us, he will lead us.

The first few meetings we had quick devotionals. I think it was good for me to share more because this is exactly what have been missing as a body. We needed the weak and vulnerable, we needed to remind ourselves that we are jars of clay (2 Cor 4). We hold in ourselves treasures that is so valuable… and then Hosea – God is our lover, the one who woos us and romances us and calls us back to him. He has called us to be his people and his lover. I am again and again drawn back to him because of his irresistible grace.

O God, may You continue to love us and draw us to you. Remind us again and again of who you are and who we are because of Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit work in us that we may be instruments for you to draw others to you. O God. Renew us, renew us as a church, renew us as a body to love you… to love you above all things, above all else.

God also refresh us in you. Help us to draw water and food from you. I think this has been a very helpful part of the bible study is the pre-bible study fellowship dinner. My wife has been working very hard in preparation and we have just been blessed by the food. But we need more than physical food, we need spiritual nourishment. Fill us O God. We are so weak and dry and hungry… we need you. We need you. We NEED YOU.

God, I want to worship you, I want to love you. Holy Spirit empower us. Thank you Jesus.

This was a deep reflection on my own sin and my own desires… My confession of sorts, but also my healing. I realize God not only tears our wounds open, but he also is our great physician, our healer.

Something triggers me. I feel proud and arrogant and rude. I know I’m right. I know I have the right method, the right process.

What is it that triggers me? Why does it do it every time? How can I let Christ defeat it and let Christ be my master and not this idol?

I talked with my wife and she noticed the same things. Whenever I don’t get my way on particular issue, when I know I’m right, I get VERY haughty, very arrogant. This is the same issue my dad faces and I think my siblings to a lesser extent struggle with it.

Whenever my intellect, or my knowledge, or my understanding is questioned, when people doubt I know anything, my mind races to OFFENSIVE mode. I DO KNOW. And in many instances I DO KNOW BETTER/MORE THAN YOU.

As my wife prayed for me, she directed me to the Pharisee and the Tax Collector of Luke 18. The tax collector recognizes that he is a nobody, in comparison to God’s holy character. And Jesus commends the tax collector as being going away justified whereas the Pharisee is left with his good works, but without the blessing of God. My wife says I am the Pharisee. I say I am the Pharisee.

The humility of the tax collector comes not in his inherent sins, but his recognizing how much higher God is above him. This recognition allows him to see himself not from how he compares with others, but how God views him. And he understands there is something utterly wrong with him. The pharisee doesn’t see this.

Luke 18 14″I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Why do I mask my insecurity with how smart I am? I am intellectual, I am wise… when you disrespect me or doubt my knowledge, I get very angry, almost to that point of murder that Jesus says on the Sermon on the Mount. This is my IDOL. I desire to look smart, look intelligent, so people don’t think I’m a nobody. Is it because I want to be somebody?

Christ says compared to God, I AM a nobody. But through Christ, he has made me Somebody. I am the son of the King. I have God as my Father and Christ as my brother. I am welcomed. I am justified. I am being sanctified. I am amongst a family of believers. I am part of the Body of Christ. My heart is being renewed. My lover is Christ.

1Corinthians 1: 26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

So what should I do when something like this happens? Turn to Christ. Recognize my identity is in Christ not in my suggestions and not in my being approved.
What if someone is TRULY wrong? Speak the truth in love, then encourage them, teach them, and wait patiently as the Lord has waited patiently with you.

What if I REALLY NEED to get something done? You can only do what you are responsible for. You cannot be responsible for the response of others. You can speak the truth in love, encourage, teach, and wait patiently as the Lord has waited patiently with you. Pray for them, let them know that you love them, but believe there is a better way. Gently persuade them.

Do not be arrogant, because you are no better than them in God’s eyes. God may have given you a gift (this is His grace to you), but you are to use these gifts for the edification of the body, not to tear others down and make yourself look right/good. You are not special in and of yourself. You have been made special by the One who calls you special.

Oh Christ, be exalted in my life. That You may increase and i may decrease.

—

Follow up response:

I think this is why Paul and pretty much the rest of the bible calls us to be thankful. Be grateful. Because life is a gift from God, we have been saved not because of anything we have done, but because HE was gracious to us. We have no reason, we have no basis to be arrogant, to boast, to brag. We have nothing apart from Christ.

So give thanks. I want you to be a person of faith, a person of joy, and a person of thanksgiving.

Our readings have been through our family bible and the children’s bible. We have been very blessed with both girls being very attentive to both readings. We are currently in 1 Samuel in our family bible, reading through David’s exploits and seeing the differences between David’s early career and Saul’s kingship, and comparing to later in life. Things get a bit crazy, as always. David is a hero, but he is also human. Sin does not discriminate. Saul struggles. We can see that, he seems to want to please God sometimes, but on his own strength he cannot and fails.

We see the description of the Success and Failures (HEAT) in both of their lives and one responds with THORNS and the other responds by going to the CROSS. It is only at the CROSS do we see FRUIT.

Our sonship class had to do with sharing the Gospel. We have struggled in the past with sharing and continue to see this part of our lives as being a bit weak. I do see however God motivating us or moving us in that direction lately. It has been on my mind to share more directly with people the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is continually reminding me to be faithful in the little things and he will entrust me with more. The parable of the Talents and C. Garriott’s book Work Excellence has been on my mind of late as well.

Finally, the theme of Shalom has continued to be with me since the start of my missions class. Seeking the Shalom (Peace and Prosperity) of the City… seemed to be the start of Redeemer Presbyterian Church’s goal… as we view our time at church and our time at our community, we have felt we never truly sought the Shalom of wherever we have been. This is a holistic shalom. Reconciliation between Man and God, Man and man and Man and self. Shalom is not only peace, but also includes prosperity, blessing… it is a restoring of what is wrong to what is right. I need to see this more, I need to live this more.

Jonah seems to be the favorite, then stories about Jesus, but because of VeggieTales Jonah, she has requested to read Jonah multiple times.

After a visit from a friend who introduced the children’s catechism to E1, we now have three sort of memorized…

Who made you? God
What else did God made? All things
Why did God make you and all things? For his own GLORY!

Ruth is someone who is a little bit more in our “scope” of who a servant of God should look like. Anyways, we’ll be surely disappointed when there is sexual sin in her life as well

As a family, we’ve been pretty busy. We had a weekend retreat up in CT for a friend’s wedding and back in town for my sister’s wedding. I’ve been listening to various seminary classes I downloaded online from iTunesU.

Theology of Ministry (RTS)
Youth Ministry (Covenant Seminary)

These practical theology courses are bit of a change for me as I shift gears from systematic to practical. The actual application has always been what I enjoy doing and as we examine our lives over the past year, we can see areas where we need a lot of work.

Over the next few posts we’ll examine what we need to do, areas we need to focus on, areas we need to change, areas we need to repent of.

Because we are going through “How People Change” series in sunday school, I felt it would be very good for us as a family to examine what areas of our lives when faced with the HEAT of life are THORNY and what areas we need to go to the CROSS in order to bear FRUIT.

Lord help us all.

Even as we read Samson in Judges, I see how evident it is in prayer and in people’s lives that when we embrace our identity as son of God through Christ we would act and behave in a way that is in conformity with God and bear fruit. When we forget or embrace some other identity we start losing out on things… even becoming enslaved again to the patterns of this world.

As I examine my own life, I see myself falling in ways due to fear of man, trusting things other than God, my own laziness, my own fears, my own selfishness… all of these things are due in some part my misunderstanding of my standing before God. As a son, I can approach the throne of grace with confidence. I can come to my father and ask whatever I want in Jesus name… I can please my daddy by doing his will… but even if I fail… He will delight in me because of who I am. I’ve been living like a pharisee, I’ve been living like a slave… a servant… a hired hand…

Even when I read and re-read the Luke 15 story, I can see clearly how I approach the father thinking that I can work as a hired hand to pay back all that I owe my father. But the father doesn’t want me to be a hired hand… he wants me to embrace my place as a son… as an hier… as one that has been redeemed by my older brother, Jesus.

Oh how I have lived liked the pharisee for too long.

Luke 15:21″The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22″But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Come to the father… let him embrace you as a son… and embrace him back as his son.

Finished reading Samson’s story yesterday and finding a lot of things about God’s servants. Surprising to say the least.

Also listening to Steve Brown‘s lectures on “Grace and the Church” from RTS Virtual on iTunesU. It is a very good lecture. Steve refers to Jack Miller’s Sonship very often and talks about finding grace in Jesus especially in church and other parts of our lives where we do not act like grace exists.

we’ve been praying lately for our church, family and various situations going on in our families. I’m learning grace… for the very first time, again.

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.

Though we see King Xerxes as the sovereign authority in this book, we know that he is still corrupt and imperfect and pales in comparison to the true King. We as Christians have have been placed in various walks of life, but in the end, we serve one person, one King. This is true in Esther where Mordecai would not kneel to Haman even when his people were at stake.

Mordecai knew the covenant promises of God to his people and that they would not perish. Even Haman’s wife knew that in Esther 6:13-14

His advisers and his wife Zeresh said to him, “Since Mordecai, before whom your downfall has started, is of Jewish origin, you cannot stand against him—you will surely come to ruin!” 14 While they were still talking with him, the king’s eunuchs arrived and hurried Haman away to the banquet Esther had prepared.

It is noted that Esther’s presence excited Xerxes every time she came into his presence even when not called to come. She had favor from the king, in the same respect, our King Jesus delights when we come to him. Though we are so far beneath our king, he has chosen us and called us to be with him at his table. And so we also have favor and attention from the King of the Universe.

It is interesting that even to the end, God’s name was glorified even when his people were in exile and spread throughout the 127 provinces of Persia. I’m reading through Ezekiel and Jeremiah and in those books, we see that God’s name is defamed by the Jews, his own people. There is such a contrast when the Jews follow and obey versus when they don’t follow and obey. God’s name is truly glorified when his people follow the words given to them.